A Mental Death
by DingDong-IReviewALot
Summary: Please do not read this story if you are sensitive to topics such as rape. However, this story will in no way poke fun at said topic, so please don't get your jimmies in a twist, thank you. In 'A Mental Death', you will see the inner thoughts of Scout after encountering a traumatic incident. The aftermath includes detailed descriptions of the mental death of a once happy kid.


"Let me go, man! Come one!"  
I was scared, so scared. These men, big buff dudes, were tryna put their hands all over me. I wouldn't let them fuckin' rape me, that's not what a man would do. So I tried kicking them away, since one of the guys were holding both of my arms back. Once I put my foot into the air, one of 'em caught it along with my other. I couldn't move at all, I was practically being held up in the air.

"Let me go you fuckin' morons! I'll kick all of your ass-" Right before I could finish yelling, the guy on my left punched me in the middle of my stomach. I couldn't breathe at all, it was a mixture between coughing and wheezing. I still, even with the little strength I had, tried wiggling around. I did everything I could to escape their grasps.

"Are you done yet? You should know by now that ain't gonna work, kid."  
After he said that, I decided to stop moving. I knew he was right, so I tried thinkin' of something else quick. I was beginning to breathe normally, so attempted to speak again.

"Please, just let me go.." I was beginning to lose all hope, I knew there was no way I could run now. I could only try beggin', even though it was a weak way out, it was my only chance. I beat myself up internally for being so weak. I guess all I was good for was running away, but now with that option gone, i'm useless.  
The man who had previously hit my stomach started to go near me again. My muscles tightened, prepared for another blow.

"Hah, look at him pleading, thinkin' that gonna do something."  
I watched him set his hand on my skin, surprised I wasn't going to be hit man slid his fingers toward the top of my sweats. My heart raced even more, praying he wouldn't do what I thought.

"What the fuck!? Get off of me you fuckin' creap!" The guy swiftly moved his hand up to slap me. Rage poured over me, I began to protest more. There was no way I was letting these freaks get what they want.

"Yeah, you're so tough by slappin' me pally! I oughta bea-" I was met by his hand squeezing my neck. I tried my best to look tough, but gaspin' for air was obviously putting me at a disadvantage, so I tried talking some more.

"Ach-you a-ain't g-ACHHK" He grabbed my neck tighter, and I swore I saw his knuckles turn white. I stopped tryna say my curses and focused on getting air. My vision was becoming splotchy, and I knew I was gonna pass out soon.

"Hey, Bane, why don't you stop choking the moron and get some action going! I don't wanna hold this kid up all night!"

"Yeah, yeah, alright." With that, Bane let go of my neck. I was grabbing as much air as I could into my lungs so I could start breathin' normal. Once I was at a steady pace, I looked at Bane. What I saw was horrific, disgusting, and pretty fuckin' traumatizing. I saw Bane's huge cock wiped out of his jeans. I couldn't look, and I didn't want that gross-ass thing anywhere near me.

"Get your fuc-GHHGK!" My eyes widened at the sudden movement. That motherfucker had shoved his...dick in my throat. I was an absolute mess, and I couldn't fuckin' believe this. I wanted to cry so bad, this was horrible, so god damn horrible. I was gagging the whole time the guy was shovin' his dick in my throat.  
The other guy who was holding my legs up dropped me. I didn't care about kicking him at this point, I already felt so weak.  
The guy who let my legs fall started to pull my pants down. I began to freak out even more, swinging my legs about. I couldn't see him with Bane blocking my view, so I was only blindly kicking. I knew I had no chance of escaping him, but maybe I could help myself from the guy trying to touch me. Once Bane saw what I was trying to do, he shoved his cock all the way inside me. It was disgusting, smelly, and tasted like fukin' shit. I wanted to die so bad then, so fuckin' bad.  
As he kept violently shoving his dick in my mouth, I stopped kicking. I felt like everything was being taken away from me. The guy finally pulled my sweats down, and started to mess with my boxers. After a few seconds, he pulled 'em down too, leaving my lower half being completely exposed. I was trembling, scared to death of what he might do next.  
Bane pulled away from me and began to...he began to fuckin' jizz all over my face. His disgusting ass sperm was spilling on me, I felt so sick. I knew I was going to throw up.  
I jerked to the side out of instinct, and began to vomit everywhere. It was coming out so fast and hard, I swore I felt like I was throwing up my intestines too.

"Jesus christ Bane! You made the fucking kid throw up everywhere!" The guy holding my arms up let go, making my head slam against the concrete underneath me.

"Yeah and you're gonna kill him if you just let his head fall like that, dumbass!"

"Whatever, like anything's gonna happen if we do kill him."

As they continued to argue, I started to feel tired. My eyes were closing, even though I internally fought to keep them open. The last thing I remember before I blacked out was one of the guys pulling me closer, and with that, a smile I could never forget.

-

I opened my eyes groggily, trying to remember where I was. As I was looking around, I saw my shirt and a few of my other clothes to the side, torn apart. It then came back to me, the images, the feeling, the...taste. I laid there for a moment, traumatised from the events. The feeling of helplessness crept into me once again, and I felt completely out of control of everything. This was un-fuckin'-believable. I can't believe I let this happen to me. It was my fault, all of it. Of course, I wasn't the strongest in my groups, but I never thought i'd be this weak. Hell, Sniper could probably beat those guys to the ground if he wanted to! Even Medic, or Spy, or Engineer, or...or anyone on the team. Except me. Except the loud, annoying, obnoxious, weak Scout that everyone hated. Yeah, everyone probably did hate me, and they wouldn't give two flyin' fucks about me being fuckin' raped would they? I might as godamn well die in a damn hole for all those losers fuckin' care! Godammit i'm so pathetic...so freakin' pathetic.  
I began to sit up, and just stay there, in the middle of the ally for a while. I was so grossed out by myself. Even the thought of seeing myself killed me. I knew if someone saw me right now, with or without clothes, they'd probably figured I had been raped just by lookin'. I began to feel my face, and cringed at the touch of dry cum still on me. There was no way I could get it off now, so I would have to take a shower when I got back. Though, I didn't even feel like doing anything right now. So, I just stayed there, naked, hopless, and mentally dying.  
If I would guess, I had probably been sittin' there for almost an hour before I tried to get my shit together. I took a look at my clothes, seeing that only my boxers and sweats had been the least noticeably ripped. Once I had finished dressing, I tried to recall where I was.  
I know I didn't arrive at this ally by car, so I must've been walkin' somewhere, but hell if I knew where to. As I was leaving the ally, I looked to my left and saw a familiar street. This was one of the first streets I saw whenever I jogged to Teufort, so I must've been on my way to leave.  
I didn't feel like running to the base, or even jogging like I usually do, so I just walked. I never felt so emotionally beat up to where i'd pass the chance to run. I knew the others would catch on, and try to say somethin'. I tried to think of excuses for coming there late, but my mind was blank.  
I couldn't keep my mind on a single thought for more than a second on the way to the base. The entire walk I felt numb, I didn't know what to think about what happened to me. I did know I was pissed off, but that was about it. I was mad at them, myself, and just about the whole world. All I wanted to do was go to my room undetected and stay there forever. I didn't even care if I had nothing to eat, because at least then I would die from that and not ever have to live in this stupid ass world again.  
I begin to feel a bit more relieved when I came up to the base, but I then remembered everyone there. Any small amount of relief went away as I thought about the possibility of bumping into someone. I remembered the little secret entrances Spy had shown me one day and started looking for those.  
I finally found one, right next to Demo's window, so I knew I might not have to be too quiet to get by unnoticed, as he was probably passed out. I tried to find some switch to open the hatch to let me in. After looking around for a bit, I then jumped as I heard a familiar Australian accent.

"Scout, is that you mate?"

This was the last thing I fucking needed.


End file.
